Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! We’re back baby.
Haha, I genuinely missed y’all, family. It started to feel like a part of me was missing, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Then I looked at the calendar and realized it’s been two months since I last posted. It was an unexpected two-month hiatus, to say the least but i’m back and man do I got some life updates.
From my last upload until now, I’ve experienced just about every emotion possible in that short time span. I turned 30 in the desert. I pivoted into a new career field. I celebrated some big wins with a few close friends. And my family suffered a major, unexpected loss—all within 60 days.
So please excuse my absence. Life was doing its thing, and all I could do was focus on flowing instead of forcing.
What have you been up to, though? Don’t be shy. Leave me a comment and let me know how your 2025 has been going so far. I’d really love to hear from you.
Do you ever feel like an imposter?Seriously, do you? I know starting this entry with a question might seem a little odd to some, but as we go deeper into it, I promise it’ll all make sense.
I was going through my drafts, thinking about what this first post back should be about and what would be a good topic to discuss. Nothing in my drafts was jumping out at me. So I started thinking deeply about everything happening in the world right now from the current political climate, to the state of the economy, and how things are becoming more unaffordable even with a pay increase.
Then, while sitting at my desk in the new dream position I recently pivoted into, it hit me: “Talk about the imposter syndrome you’re currently facing in this very moment.”
Uhh okay, great. Another chance for me to be vulnerable with my audience and share another weakness with the world. Yay.
Honestly, this isn’t something I want to write about because I truly don’t have all the answers. I can’t fully explain why imposter syndrome happens, what causes it, or offer any detailed, research-based insight. But what I do know is what it feels like for me.
For me, imposter syndrome feels like a mixture of not belonging, feeling undeserving, and wondering, “This is too good to be true—what is the catch?” It’s the constant thought that something this good could never happen for me, like I don’t deserve to be living in whatever my current reality is. As if I didn’t put in the work to earn the very thing I’ve been striving for.
For example, I remember getting my first paying subscriber on Substack and thinking to myself, Why would anyone pay to subscribe to anything I’m talking about? I don’t know what I’m doing. These articles aren’t even that good. I doubted myself so much that I actually researched how to issue a refund—and even looked into how to turn the feature off altogether. I couldn’t think of a single reason why someone would pay money to read something I wrote.
I couldn’t see it for myself.
To this day, the money is still sitting in my available balance because I was waiting for the person to report it to their bank as a mistake. I got my first paying subscriber in April. It’s now July, and the funds are still untouched—just in case.
Do you see what I mean?
It feels never-ending. Sometimes, even my wins feel like nothing.
The textbook definition states that imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often intense, fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of their competence. This can lead to feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, and depression, and can impact various aspects of life, including work and personal relationships.
I may do a part two to this entry as I continue to navigate this more intentionally, but I think I’ve been battling imposter syndrome for years and never had the language to truly describe it. It’s so tricky for me because I used to heavily associate my identity with my accomplishments. Remember my article about making an idol out of titles?
004. I made an idol out of titles
If you ever needed a sign of how locked in I am with this community I’m building, let this drop be your reminder—y’all get me in every season.
Yeah, I don’t want this to be lengthy, and I really want this entry to be a conversation starter. So I’m going to pause here and welcome any feedback or thoughts you may have in the comments. I’ve realized that steadily pursuing my goals, even when I feel a sense of nothingness, is helping me work through this imposter syndrome.
Honestly, maybe the key to overcoming this is simply to keep facing your fears and doing the things you want to do, regardless of what your thoughts, feelings, or emotions might be telling you.
As always, thank you for reading. Only subscribe if you truly believe I’ve earned it. God bless you.
If you ever want to show some extra love you can always buy me a coffee ☕️
Saint’s Interlude
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